Just Be Nice

I'm not always nice. Quite the opposite - sometimes I can be downright mean. Especially to those closest to me. Sometimes I am purposefully mean, but more often than not I am mean without realizing I am being mean.

The closer the relationship the better the chance you've been mean. I've been married nearly 27 years. That's a lot of opportunity to be mean to my wife. Same with the kids. The more you're with someone the more opportunity you have to be mean.

Road rage is a cultural term that has grown out of our intolerance for other's driving habits. This is one area where I have a long ways to go in not being mean. Next time I feel my blood pressure rise due to another driver I will ask myself a few questions.

• Is this person lost?
• Are they a new driver?
• Are they upset about something?
• Do they get anxious when driving?

I've learned to exercise some patience by thinking about these things, but I still get angry at drivers who block the passing lane for mile after mile on the interstate. (Note: Nice people drive in the right lane unless they're passing, pass expeditiously, and move back over to the right once clear of the passed car.)

There's other "triggers" that turn me from a nice guy into a not so nice guy. Long lines. Time Warner Cable (Google Fiber is 90 days away!) Bad service in a resturant. The list goes on.

Learn to recognize the triggers and step back for a moment. Ask yourself some questions about the other party. What burdens are on their heart? Do your best to simply be nice - even if you don't want to be nice and can justify not being nice. Just Be Nice.

Love

Love is first because love should be first. Everything you do should be done in love. Love will be woven thoughout the fabric of your life. Love for family and friends. Love for God. 

Scripture says God is Love. Paul says that love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrongs. 

No record of wrong is forgiveness. 

You may have heard the old adage "forgive and forget." That is foolishness, it's naive to believe you can forget - we rarely forget times when we've been hurt. However, you must forgive - not for the person who hurt you - you must forgive for yourself. If you cannot forgive you will be carrying a lot of baggage around. Forgiving means letting go of the burden and moving forward in your life.

The mother of a murder victim can forgive the killer, but she will never forget what happened. We can forgive the men who flew airplanes into buildings, but we must never forget. 

If someone hurts you, forgive them. But don't keep going back for more hurt. You can forgive and love an unrepentant person, but love doesn't require pain. To the contrary - love is the absence of pain. "Turn the other cheek" does not require you to continue in an abusive relationship - that's not love.

I'll admit I'm not the best at "practicing what I preach" at times. These things are what God calls us to pursue. Being fallable humans we will all fall short. Your goal should be to strive to His standard. 

Forgive those who hurt you. Leave the door open for those willing to change. Stand guard against those who would hurt you again. Close the doors that need to be closed, always with an attitude of love and forgiveness.